The beginning of a student’s college career can be a stressful experience for parents, especially if your child has not lived away from home before.

During this important time of transition for the family, many parents put their own feelings and reactions on hold while helping their student prepare for college life.

Attending to your own emotional needs as well as your student’s, however, will go a long way toward helping everyone feel comfortable with the challenges that going to college presents.

Most parents report the experience of sending a son or daughter to college as one filled with anticipation, anxiety, confusion and hope. By opening day of the first year of college, many changes have already begun to happen. The student becomes more independent, gains competence in new areas, and learns to develop healthy peer relationships.

The college years are a time when students continue to mature and learn how to manage themselves and life in general. What does that mean for you as a parent? As a parent, it can be difficult to know when to help, when to step back, and/or how worried to get. Usually a parent's best guideline is to provide a steady, supportive home base while recognizing that there will be ups and downs in a student's needs and expectations. Try to follow the lead of the student and encourage him or her to work through a problem with you acting as the coach or cheerleader.

• Help them balance their thoughts and emotions to make their best decisions.
• Let them know that you respect their right to make a decision and that you will serve as an advisor when asked.
• Remind yourself to notice and appreciate the new skills they develop; students often want their families to recognize their progress toward becoming adults.
• And, remember to take care of yourself during this "Help!"/"Don't help!" process which may cause you a lot of confusion and exhaustion.

Of course, you are still a parent to your almost-adult, and he or she does still need your support and guidance during the college years. There are a number of ways you can express your caring and enhance your student’s experience at Rowan University.

• Stay in touch! Even though your child is experimenting with independent choices, he or she still needs to know that you're there and are available to talk over both normal events and difficult issues. Make arrangements to write or call your child on a regular basis.
• Allow space for your child to set the agenda for some of your conversations. If he or she needs help or support, the subject is more likely to come up if you aren't pointedly inquiring about what time he or she came in last night!
• Be realistic with your college student about financial matters. Most students come to school with a fairly detailed plan about how tuition, fees, books, and room and board will be paid for. They should also know what the family's expectations are about spending money. Being specific at the outset may help avoid misunderstandings later. Students tend to spend a fair amount on social interactions. It may behoove your family to be aware of how much your child is spending, to set reasonable limits, and to monitor any credit card usage so that large debts are not incurred.
• Be realistic about academic achievement and grades.Rowan University attracts bright students from all over the world, and not every freshman who excelled academically in high school will be a straight-A student here. Developing or refining the capacity to work independently and consistently and demonstrating mastery can be more important than grades--as long as the student meets the basic academic requirements set out by the University. Again, these are choices that each individual student makes, though certainly it is appropriate to help your child set his or her own long-term goals.
• If your child does experience difficulties at Rowan, encourage him or her to take advantage of the wealth of resources available for students. For academic issues, talking with the professor or academic advisor is probably the first step, but the Academic Success Center and the Career Center are also available to help.